The Meredee Show

One of my goals for a very long time has been to learn Spanish. It helps that Kyle is fluent because he can coach me (as frustrating as that can be at times). I started a while back just studying from books while I was at work and didn’t do much outside of that. Every once in awhile we would converse at home. Then I started school. My Spanish practice fell by the wayside even though I had seen great improvement just on studying by myself.

I had a little break this Summer and started back into it, hopefully I won’t backslide again. It’s too hard to recover. This time I thought maybe I’d try to read a very easy novel. So I ordered a Nicholas Sparks book called The Wedding (La Boda).  His books are SUPER easy to read in English, so I thought the same would be true in Spanish. Nope. I’m not even halfway through the first chapter and I’ve had it for 2+ weeks. Kyle is reading it with me while I attempt to translate the meaning and he helps with vocabulary. We don’t read everyday but it generally takes me an hour to get through a couple of paragraphs. My brain hurts afterward. I don’t realize how many words there are to describe things when I’m speeding through his other novels at lightening speed. I’m thinking I need probably a 4th or 5th grade reading level book. Maybe I’ll order something easier to read through also.

It is helping, however. It’s frustrating when I have to keep asking Kyle what the same word means over and over again. But I know eventually it will stick…like after the thousandth time. It’s still really good for me but at times I think that I’m not learning anything about sentence structure and I hate, hate, hate that I have to translate everything. My nephew came up to me yesterday with a stick and said, “Eat it, Auntie.” Of course I said no, but I also said that I wish I could learn Spanish just like he is learning English….with no concept of another language. I think trying to do that is very difficult in an English-speaking country. Perhaps we’ll just have to move out of the country for a bit?

The very first line in today’s Register Guard ticked me off:

SALEM — Oregon’s lagging economy will produce $378 million less in tax dollars for education, human services and public safety than what was expected three months ago, according to the latest revenue forecast delivered Thursday.

First of all, why is it that the economy will produce less tax dollars for education, human services and public safety???!!! Why are the most important services the first ones to suffer? You want to know why? Because that’s where they get their leverage. And it works.  The people of Oregon voted to tax the rich in order to “eliminate cuts” for these services and it wasn’t enough. Who could have predicted that? All the people who saw this scam from a mile away. That’s what happens when you give into the threats and approve tax increases…you give them the license to do it again.

Guaranteed those measures never would have passed if people knew how businesses would really be affected. But they were lied to and told that only the wealthiest people would be taxed and that small businesses wouldn’t be affected. They were told that the tax on huge corporations would only increase from $10 to $150. Wrong. They approved an increase in the minimum tax to $150. It only goes up from there based on gross sales, not net sales. That means that a company could gross $1 million, net only $1000, and pay all of that or more in taxes. They could actually LOSE MONEY because of the taxes they have to pay on gross sales.

It frustrates me that people couldn’t see through that from the beginning. I understand the desire to save those necessary services but it doesn’t matter how much money we throw at them, they will ALWAYS threaten the same services. Do you hear them talking about how many jobs they’re going to have to cut in the government? No? That’s because it’s the only sector that has grown in Oregon since the economic slump. Will they consider privatizing  areas that the government has no business running? No. Will they freeze COLAs? No. What are they doing to spend less money in areas other than education, human services, and safety? Nothing.

I think this is the first time in recent memory that I actually feel like there’s a chance that a conservative could be elected as Governor in Oregon. That’s because people are fed up with the lies, fed up with the wasteful spending, and fed up with the bullying and threats to cut our most precious services if we don’t give them more money.

I’ve been thinking a bit about the fact that roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce. After attending a wedding this weekend, I asked Kyle, “How do some marriages go from a wedding (i.e. the most wonderful day of your life and being more in love than ever) to such dysfunction that you’d rather live without the person than continue in a marriage with them?” He didn’t have an answer and neither did I.

I know that Kyle and I are very lucky because we’re so compatible. Maybe some people feel that way in the beginning but not too long after the honeymoon, they discover that the other person isn’t quite who they thought they were. It’s too bad when that happens.

Although we haven’t run into that problem, I think it takes more than compatibility to make a marriage work. There are so many circumstances that come into play and of course each scenario requires a different plan of action. I’d be the first one to acknowledge the seemingly impossible idea of staying in an abusive marriage or staying with your husband or wife if he or she is unfaithful. But I just don’t believe that this is the cause for every single marriage in the 50% failure rate.

First of all, I think that people are naturally selfish. Either they don’t want to work on their marriage or they don’t care enough to try. It’s not that they don’t love the other person, but they just love themselves more. This is a difficult thing to fight. Marriage is a constant struggle between satisfying yourself and satisfying the other person. If you’re good at it, you can manage both. I don’t believe in this “falling out of love” crap. Yes, the fluttery feelings of being in love may fade if you’re arguing all the time, but being “in love” is not the same as loving the other person. The vow you take is to love and honor the other person at all times. And I can guarantee that 100% of divorced couples neglected this vow on a regular basis, especially in situations of abuse or unfaithfulness.

Aside from the aforementioned exceptions, I think that another difference between failed and successful marriages is that a lot of couples who stay married do so because they don’t consider divorce an option. That’s how Kyle and I work. Of course, we knew exactly what we were getting into. I’m not insane, he’s not abusive and all other things being semi-normal, we could safely say that divorce is not an option. Maybe someday we will experience tough times and arguments, but we have commited to do whatever it takes to honor our vows.

I’m grateful everyday to have a husband who makes every effort to ensure my happiness. I do my best to do the same for him. It breaks my heart for friends who don’t share the same type of love that we are so fortunate to have.

We’ve been selling quite a bit of stuff on Craigslist lately and I must say, the thrill of getting cash for stuff you no longer need is uncomparable. OK, maybe the thrill of finding a great bargain on Craigslist beats that feeling.

Let me start out by saying that there is a certain etiquette that must be heeded when listing your belongings. Said etiquette is important for optimal profit but is—more often than not—ignored by the majority of Craigslisters. As you paruse the ads, you will run across the typical, poorly-lit picture of a faded, early 90s couch with clutter all around and an asking price of $500. You also might see the occasional sideways photo of a rundown, never-been-cleaned patio set with an exaggerated description of quality. These are not good selling techniques. We know this because we see the same listing two months down the road with the same photo and asking price.

Kyle and I take pride in our listings. We want to make a good impression and convince people that our junk is worth the asking price. When we sold our couch, I vacuumed it, fluffed the cushions, and angled it against a nice backdrop. When Kyle took the photo, it was well lit, the color was true, and it was not taken while standing up, three feet away. We listed it at $185 and the buyers did not even try to bargain. We even had a woman email asking if the color of the couch we were selling was the same color as the couch in the picture. She thought the photo was from a catalogue or website, for crying out loud! (Side note: I won’t ignore the technological advantage we have with professional photography equipment. However, people could definitely step it up with their point-and-shoot cameras.)

We’ve sort of become addicted to this dirty, little habit. I guess it could be worse. We could be addicted to the buying part. I would just like everyone to take a few notes on exactly how to turn customers away and avoid them at all costs. Not only do we not want to buy your outrageously-priced crap, we don’t want to waste our time viewing the listing either. Get with it, people!

For your enjoyment, I have included a few postings from The Best of Craigslist: 

You hit me with your Prius

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Date: 2009-07-25, 3:23PM PDT

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 Me – Bicyclist, heading to jury duty on 10th Street, Friday at 8:50am.
You – Prius driver, crossing over two lanes, hitting me with your car and speeding away.

I was hoping we could catch up for a cup of coffee, so I could get your views on the environment, and strangle you.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1288922120

License Plate BJN7523

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Date: 2009-09-11, 11:33PM EDT

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 Dear Sir or Madam:

Ha ha! You are clever! You regifted your unwanted parking ticket to a neighboring vehicle! Unfortunately, you disregarded two important points. First, I do not drive a silver Buick; second, I do not plan to pay the city $30 on your behalf.

I understand fines double after 10 days and triple after 90 days. Good luck with that.

Cordial Disregards,

the Neighboring Vehicle’s Driver

• Location: downtown Grand Rapids
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1370319667

I stomped on your fire, you choked on a biscuit

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Date: 2010-02-21, 9:09AM CST

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 You: passed out on the grass after choking on a biscuit and slamming your car into a guardrail at Franklin and Harding
Me: driver of silver bug with 2 women in the car who stopped and put your car fire out.

It’s been a bad month, so if you would get me a new fire extinguisher, I would appreciate it. Also don’t eat while driving in the future, it’s dangerous, as you discovered.

• Location: Nashville, TN
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1610814882 

I remember in high school the people who wore Jesus t-shirts were considered fanatics. At the time, I was almost embarassed by music like “Jesus Freak” by DC Talk. I serisouly disliked Christian music because it was super cheesy and it made all Christians seem like fanatics. Of course, in high school, I was pretty much self-conscious about everything and the last thing I needed was to draw attention to myself.

I still think that a lot of Christian music is cheesy and wearing the apparel is most definitely not my thing. However, I realized something on the way to work today. I normally listen to news radio or some sort of mix pop station but this morning I felt the need to change it to Air1, the Christian radio station. Immediately, I felt joy. Sure the song was by some weird Britney Spears, Dixie Chicks hybrid band—if that’s even possible. At the risk of sounding old, I’m going to say that there’s just something refreshing about a song that neglects to mention heartbreak, lies, sex, or self-centeredness and talks about hope, love, faith, or peace.  My mood was immediately set for the long Friday at work.

My mom has always maintained the attitude that God created music to praise Him and I never could argue with that sentiment. I can’t think of a single day when I’ve heard her listen to anything but Christian music, at least not on purpose. I never felt like there was anything wrong with enjoying secular music but I can see now why she was so diligent. A childrens Bible song comes to mind that says: “Oh be careful little ears what you hear. There’s a God up above and He’s looking down with love.” We can’t help but be affected by the things we absorb and my immediate change of attitude this morning is a perfect example.

I wanted to keep the feeling going, so I loaded up Pandora with some positive music and I’m planning on keeping it playing throughout the day. If nothing else, I hope that it’s a constant reminder that He is looking down with love.

Example of Christian fanatic t-shirt from high school:

( My apologies in advance to those of you who may have owned this shirt at one time. You must take into consideration that I grew up in Oregon and that the term “fanatic” was used freely to describe any and all Christians.)

 

Let me just start out by saying that the DVR is the best invention ever. We’ve started recording shows that we never cared to watch before and it…is…awesome! Don’t get me wrong, we’re not couch potatoes. We just watch the shows when we’re working out or have some free time. It’s funny how you’ll rediscover shows that you used to watch and they’re even better the second time around.

Just the other day I set up the DVR to record Oprah everday. I figure that I can always go back and delete the sappy, disturbing episodes after the fact and keep the shows that sound interesting. Kyle can’t stand Oprah. I don’t think it’s for the same reason that most men hate talk shows. I think it’s his actual distaste for her as a human being. I can’t argue. I don’t like how she abuses her power by brainwashing Americans with her talk about being one with the “Universe” and finding your authentic self. And somewhere along the line, she started acting as though she earned a psychology degree for having interviewed crazies all these years. Nonetheless, I still respect her philanthropy and once in awhile she’s got something profound to say (even if she steals it from Maya Angelou or someone else from her famous-people catalogue.)

Yesterday’s show struck a chord with me. She had people like Buddy Valastro from Cake Boss on TLC. In case you haven’t seen the show, it’s pretty cool. Buddy owns a bake shop in Hoboken, NJ and makes the most amazing cakes. It’s very entertaining to watch. Anyway, Oprah was featuring people who are working at their dream jobs. One person quoted Confucius in saying, “Find a job that you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

We’ve heard that sort of thing a million times. And usually we all think to ourselves blah…blah…blah…it’s all fine and dandy that you get to do what you love but the rest of us just need a paycheck. Normally, I would think this too. But this time I couldn’t fight wondering why I hadn’t discovered what I love to do, what I was born to do. It seems unfair, really. I know what I’m good at. But what do I love to do so much that I could do it better than everyone else?

Regardless of where my education takes me, I still want to end up in a job that I love. I’ve seen the other end of the spectrum and I definitely can’t live with that for the rest of my life. Well, most of the people on Oprah acted as though they sort of fell in to the things that they love.  So here’s what I’m going to do:

I’ve got to figure out a way to fall into love with something. So I’m going to start trying new stuff….even things that I imagine that I’d never be good at. I don’t know when or what I’m going to do first but I’ve got to start some projects here. I guess I’ll have to blog my way through it too. That way, I can share my experiences with everyone. We’ll call it: Meredee’s Search for a Passion. Any suggestions of what to try first???

This morning, I heard an interview on the radio with a guy who is 37 years old and dying from cancer. He’s lived for more than a year since being diagnosed but has been told that it will not be cured and, within months, he will die. I actually recognized his name and realized that he attended the church that I went to as a child. I can’t tell you why I remembered his name and what he looked like since I was in 6th grade when we left that church, but there must have been a reason.

His message through battling the cancer has been to “choose joy” everyday. He has been using this as an amazing opportunity to share his faith. He is a living (and dying) example of the peace of knowing Jesus and confidence in where he will spend eternity.

I try not to think about death. It’s a hard one for me. But sometimes I cannot escape that I’m living in denial. I must think that if I can ignore the fact that death is a reality, then I can go on living my life in blissful ignorance. I keep thinking that if I pretend it doesn’t exist, maybe I’ll never have to deal with it.

As he was speaking about his bucket list, I started to wonder what would be on my bucket list. I suppose some people have created a “List of Things to do Before I die’” but that leaves you with an open-ended timeline. Imagine if your timeline were pretty specific. I didn’t get very far in my thinking. As soon as I started thinking about all the things that I’d want to do, I nearly began to cry at the thought of facing my own mortality. And this is why I try not to think about it.

People might call it morbid or depressing, but it’s reality. We can’t escape it and as much as I try to ignore it, I realize that I have no idea when it will happen. If it’s possible for that 37-year-old man, or a 6-year-old child, or a teenager, then anything can happen. Why aren’t we living our lives as if that’s the case? Why do I waste hours watching television or worrying about things that I can’t control? Why don’t I spend more time with my loved ones or find out my purpose on this Earth?

I want to start living like I’m dying. I want to take advantage of every opportunity and enjoy life while it’s here. I don’t know where to begin and I don’t know if it’s even possible to truly understand what it’s like. But I want to try. My heart goes out to those who know firsthand. Thank you for your example of courage and hope.

As a single person, I never really thought much about the idea of changing your last name when you get married. Now that I’ve been married for a bit, it acutally surprises me how easily I adapted to changing mine. I don’t think I’ve ever accidentally called myself by my maiden name and I haven’t accidentally signed it either. Even Kyle put down my maiden name when he applied for a credit card after we were married. And my brother still sends me birthday cards with my old last name. You’d think that after 27 years of the same name, I’d be a tad set in my ways.  For crying out loud, I get totally screwed up if I move the silverware to another drawer or rearrange my cupboards. But change the only name I’ve ever known? No problem.

I started thinking about how people that I’ve just met have no idea what my name used to be. It’s totally normal for them to call me Meredee Berg. I will admit that it has a nice ring to it.  And I do like that my name was slimmed down by 3 letters. I guess I can understand the reasons why some women want to keep their last name—I’m not saying I agree with those reasons. It’d be nice to think that, at some level, there is an identity thing there. But like I said earlier, people who just met me still know the same me even though I have a different last name than I did a year and a half ago.  I’m still me. My name doesn’t define me.

However, what my name does say about me is who I belong to. When I got married, I no longer belonged to my parents and now belonged to my husband. And I loved that idea. There’s nothing more romantic than that. And I guess maybe the reason I adjusted so easily is because it was my destiny to become a Berg.

Because I have spent my fair share of working hours in the retail/customer service business, I try to treat most people in these jobs with respect and refrain from complaining or being too particular. I know how it feels to have an irate customer in your face, blaming you for something you had no control over. I’m not going to be rude to a waiter because my meal turned out wrong. If they brought me something that I didn’t order, most of the time I’ll eat it anyway….unless it’s a dish that I can’t stand to eat. Even so, I will politely tell him that my order is not correct. If it comes down to having onions when I said “no onions,” I will just pick them off and get on with it.

Lately, something has been brewing….so to speak. I love Dutch Bros. coffee. I’ve been a loyal fan and customer for many years. It’s great coffee at a great price. But the last few times I’ve been there, my order just hasn’t been quite right. Last night, it all came to a head.

Both Kyle and I ordered a blended, non-fat beverage. (You should know that if you get a blended, full fat beverage, they use a pre-mixed frappuccino from a machine, called Dutch Freeze, and then they put in any additional syrup. But if you order it non-fat, they have to specifically blend your beverage with non-fat milk, ice and syrup. It tastes WAY better than the pre-mix…even if it is non-fat.)

Anyway, we get down the road and I’m thinking it doesn’t taste right. Then it clicks that the beverages were made very quickly and I never heard a blender. I got home and stewed about it for awhile (more on this later). I think it ticked me off so much because it’s not always cheap to buy coffee and it’s a treat…so you want it to be right. There’s nothing worse than paying $4 for a coffee that you can barely choke down. Yesterday was $2 Tuesday. The guy who took our order made us repeat it twice, so I know he didn’t just misunderstand our order. My feeling is that he had been really busy on $2 Tuesday and got lazy, thinking he could pass off Dutch Freeze. No, sir. I know my coffee.

I took it back to him and told him that I didn’t appreciate receiving a Dutch Freeze with caramel syrup because neither my husband nor I had ordered a Dutch Freeze. After he got past the “What? Dutch Freeze? Huh?Dutch Freeze,” he proceeded to make me a new one with a “sorry” in there somewhere. I should have tasted it before I pulled away. Got home and it was like drinking a cup full of sugar-free caramel syrup with some melted ice. Even Kyle tasted it and couldn’t wait to get the taste out of his mouth. By this time, I was too frustrated to go back & didn’t want to risk another gross coffee. I put it in the fridge and waited til morning.

I went back this morning & told them about the idiot who works for them. She was great and super friendly. She made my drink perfectly sweet and thick, like a frappuccino should be. She didn’t charge me for it, either. And finally, she gave me a fully-stamped frequent-drinker card, allowing me to get a free beverage the next time. That made it much better. I knew that the majority of employees were cool and helpful.

Back to the stewing…

While I was stewing about it last night, I started thinking about why I’m not one to send stuff back. I’ve always had the philosophy that it’s not worth it. It’s not worth ruining someone’s day. It’s not worth treating them like crap. It’s not worth getting them in trouble. It’s not worth waiting for a whole new one. It’s not worth getting upset over because life is too short. At the time I was seriously unhappy but I knew there was something fundamentally wrong with that.

Why is it so hard to keep things in perspective? In the whole scheme of things, does that crappy coffee ruin everything? Why am I upset about this? We all naturally feel offended when we spend our hard-earned money on something, only to find out it doesn’t live up to our expectations. Everything about how much it bothered me felt wrong.  I literally felt convicted about the way I was feeling. Mankind is so freaking messed up sometimes. I hate how selfish we are. It’s that whole mentality that the world revolves around us. Why do we dwell on stupid things like this?

I guess my lesson is this: There’s nothing wrong with insisting that you get what you ordered. But there is something wrong with letting it bother you if you don’t get it on the first—or second—try. Breathe. It will be OK and it will eventually be rectified.  It’s not the end of the world.

My desire to write goes in waves. Recently, I’ve been blogging a lot more and it reminds me that I enjoy it and I am good at it when I put in the effort. The other day, I looked through some of the articles that I wrote for the Waterloo/Cedar Falls Courier. The reason I liked writing for the paper was that, for the most part, they gave me pretty interesting articles. I wasn’t stuck going to city council meetings or reporting on local business. They let me write for the “Pulse” section, covering newly signed bands, human interest stories, etc. I’m not the greatest interviewer but I muddled through and I was able to come up with some decent articles.

After looking through some of my work, I decided that I would try my hand at doing some more freelance work. I set up a new blog with PDF files of my portfolio and I applied to be a writer for Demand Studios which supplies articles for .com sites like usatoday, ehow, answerbag, livestrong, among others. As I started to look through the articles to pick from, I realized that this will be a good opportunity to search out what my writing niche might be. They had the most strange, specific articles to pick from. I’m probably going to do a few articles that don’t interest me much but at least I’m earning money while I get more clips and become a better writer. This week, I wrote a “how-to” article on getting a PayPal account. It’s not exactly the most exciting thing in the world but it only took about 20 minutes. If I wrote two more articles just like that and average it out, I could make about $45 an hour. Of course, some articles will take longer than others and I don’t have time to write a bunch in one day, but at least it’s some extra pocket money.

I’m hoping this renewed interest in writing will lead me to my next adventure. Maybe I’ll discover something about myself or my writing that gives me a new direction. Either way, I think it’ll be a fun hobby. If you know of any reputable, fun blogging or freelance sites, let me know.